3-Wochenend Coaching in Apeldoorn ( NL )

PURES LEADERSHIP VON INNEN IN IHREM LEBEN UND BEZIEHUNGEN MIT HILFE VON PFERDEN

Pferdegestütztes Intensivtraining für Fachkräfte zur Verbesserung von Synergie und Produktivität, wie Balance in Ihren Beziehungen und Leben.
Eine Reise mit Pferden, um Ihren Platz, Ihr wahres Ich in Ihrer Organisation, im Leben und in Ihren Beziehungen zu finden!

     Systemic Equine Assisted Coach und Organisationsberater:
  • Coby van der Hoef von Kifungo, Systemic Equine Assisted Coach und
  • International Mediator Alexandra Sitch von Sitch Mediation & Coaching International

Ein intensives Training: 6 Tage, verteilt auf 3 Monate

Ort: Beemt (bei Apeldoorn, Niederlande)
- ein Ort direkt über der deutschen Grenze, mitten in der Natur, eine malerische Region


Daten:
  • 15.-16. November:
    Analyse Ihres Platzes im Leben, Beziehungen, nonverbale Kommunikation. Ein Wochenende, um Ihre Intentionen zu bestimmen, eventuelle Blockaden in Kommunikation, Burnout, Ihre Entscheidung, welchen Weg Sie einschlagen wollen

  • 11.-12. Dezember:
    Ihre bisherige Entwicklung, die Konsequenzen Ihrer Entscheidungen; die Fragen und Antworten jedes Teilnehmers werden mit Hilfe der systemischen Natur von Pferden und des "Wissensfeldes" untersucht.

  • 31. Januar - 1. Februar:
    Umsetzung Ihres neuen Weges in Ihrem Unternehmen, Ihren Beziehungen und Ihrem Leben

Preis: EUR 3.995, - Einzelcoaching in einer Gruppe mit 2 Trainern.
Dies beinhaltet: 6 Tage intensive Sitzungen, 3 Übernachtungen mit Frühstück von Samstag bis Sonntag, Mittagessen, Kaffee, Tee und Erfrischungen

Ein ideales Training:
- Entwickle Ihr Potenzial, verbessere das Selbstvertrauen, vermeide Burnouts,
- Blockaden beseitigen, um Ihre authentische Kraft und Persönlichkeit zu verbessern,
- Entwickeln Sie Ihre positive, einfühlsame und kristallklare Kommunikation
- bessere Freundschaften, Beziehungen zu erhalten
- Fähigkeiten zur Lösung von Konflikten

• Möchten Sie Ihre nonverbale Kommunikation verstehen?
• Sind Sie sich der Auswirkung Ihres Verhaltens auf Ihre Umgebung bewusst?
• Können Sie in den Spiegel schauen und sich mit dem konfrontieren, was ist?
• Möchten Sie Konflikte mit Ihren Beziehungen, Ihrer Familie lösen?

Wie funktioniert es?

Wenn eine Person in einer Gruppe von Pferden steht , mit ihrer systemischen und sensiblen Intuition von Natur aus, werden die Pferde sofort eine neue Reihenfolge und Hierarchie in dieser Gruppe beginnen:
  • Wo ist dein Platz in dieser Herde?
  • Wo stehe ich als „Mitpferd“ in der Herde?
(Hinweis: Es wird absolut nicht geritten! - daher geeignet, wenn Personen keine Vorkenntnisse mit Pferden haben)
Pferde werden erkennen, ob das Innere einer Person zu seinem Äußeren kongruent ist. Wenn nicht, werden sie alles in ihrer Sprache / Ausdrucksweise tun, um den Zustand dieser Person oder Personengruppe zu verbessern und die Gesamtsynergie der Gruppe zu fördern)

Systemisches Coaching oder Therapie mit Pferden; eine Therapie, die dort weitergeht, wo andere Therapieformen aufhören!

Bestimmte Verhaltensmuster sind auf unser System zurückzuführen. Familie, Schule und Organisationen; die Muster wirken auf einer tieferen Ebene und sind oft unbewusst. In vielen meiner Sitzungen werde ich mit ganz unterschiedlichen Fragen konfrontiert.
• „Was kann ich mit meinem Berufsleben anfangen?“
• „Wie kann ich mich weniger gestresst fühlen?“
• „Wie finde ich bessere Partner?“
• "Wie kann ich die Beziehung zu meiner Frau / meinem Ehemann verbessern?"
• „Warum bin ich immer pessimistisch?“
• „Woher kommt meine ständige Müdigkeit?“

Diese Fragen scheinen sehr unterschiedlich zu sein, aber Pferde werden immer die Frage / das Thema hinter der Frage des Coachees zeigen, das zuerst behandelt werden muss, hauptsächlich in Verbindung mit dem System des Coachee, in Verbindung mit der Selbstakzeptanz und den Faktoren oder Personen im systemischen Umfeld des Trainers, die diese völlige Selbstakzeptanz und Selbstliebe blockieren!

Viele Personen in ihrer Kindheit oder in früheren Jahren übernehmen die Rolle oder Verantwortung eines der Eltern, Großeltern oder Schwesterbrüder, ohne es zu merken. Pferde zeigen dies den Trainern sehr deutlich und reagieren während des Coachings auf Fragen und Erkenntnisse oder innere Bewegungen der Person. Diese Last, eine Rolle zu übernehmen oder eine Last von jemand anderem zu tragen, blockiert die Möglichkeiten im Leben des Menschen im späteren Leben: völliges Glück in seinen Beziehungen und im sozialen Leben. Durch die Materialisierung dieser Energien durch Pferde auf dem Feld wird den Menschen plötzlich klar, was sie blockiert und wie sie ihren Platz im Leben voll einnehmen können!

Durch diese Methode des Coachings findet ein Mensch über seinen gefühlten Sinn und seine Intuition einen Weg viel leichter, eine innere Weisheit, anstatt nur über seinen Verstand, der sich nicht notwendigerweise in seine innere emotionale Welt integriert. Und das bei ein paar Coachings, anstatt jahrelang mit einem Therapeuten zu reden.

Jeder Mensch hat einen rechtmäßigen Platz im Leben und kann Erfüllung finden, muss aber auch diesen Platz einnehmen.


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Management Coaching Termin Juni - Asendorf ( bei Hamburg )

Authentisches Leadership & Corporate Workshop Programm:
für Manager in Asendorf (Niedersachsen), in der Nähe von Hamburg

  • 1 Tag "Authentisches Leadership" Coaching und Klärung Ihres Anliegens
    - inkl. Intro-Briefing und Evaluation: reflektives und systemisches Coaching
  • Mittagessen für Feinschmecker mit 2 Gängen
Schmalenfelderstrasse 14
D-21271 Asendorf
Anfang 9:30-18:00



Pferdecoaching für Ihre Firma, Organisation oder Teams; Leadership und Managementkompetenz, Konflikt vorbeugen und Synergie steigern:
  • würden Sie gerne Ihr Führungsstil/Leadership besser verstehen wollen?
  • sind Sie sich der Auswirkung Ihres Agierens im Arbeitsumfeld völlig bewusst?
  • möchten Sie bestehenden Konflikte mit Ihren KollegInnen / PartnerInnen / Teams beheben, bzw Spannungen (in der Organisation) erörtern die Sie nie geahnt haben?  

Pferde reagieren sofort auf die Energie einer Person und zeigen Ihr Kommunikationsverhalten wie auch Ihre Beziehungen in Ihrem (Berufs)Leben in einem Tableau Vivant, Rollenspiel, das Sie gleich Wiedererkennen werden. Mit Interventionen und Uebungen wird Ihr Verhalten optimiert.

Jede innere Bewegung der Person löst eine Reaktion beim Pferd aus, wodurch bestimmtes Verhalten, blinde Flecken oder Denkweisen mit Hilfe von Interventionen korrigiert werden können .

Pferden reagieren systemisch, in der Gegenwart und ohne Urteil. Bei dieser Methode können deswegen Blockaden beseitigt und Einsicht in ein Lebensthema oder Persönlichkeitsstruktur erzielt werden.


Eine aussergewöhnliche Erfahrung, die zu professionellen und persönlichen Erfolg führt. Mehrere grosse Unternehmen haben bereits die Effiiziens dieser Methode erleben können.




im pferdegestützten Coaching ist keine Erfahrung im Umgang mit Pferden notwendig. Sie werden kein Pferd reiten !
Wir werden uns zudem genügend Zeit für eine ausführliche Einweisung in den Umgang mit den Tieren nehmen. Falls Sie eine Scheu vor Pferden haben, werden wir Sie sehr achtsam in Kontakt mit den Pferden bringen oder die Session auf Abstand durchfuehren.

Ziel des Coachings:

Pferde sind hervorragende Feedback-Geber. Im Umgang mit ihnen erkennen und erleben Sie Ihre oft unbewussten individuellen Verhaltens- und Kommunikationsmuster sehr intensiv. Im reflektiven und systemischen Coaching-Prozess werden wir diese Muster hinterfragen, alternative Ansätze erproben und gemeinsam ein persönliches Zielbild und einen konkreten Umsetzungsplan erarbeiten. So können Sie sukzessive den Transfer der Erkenntnisse in Ihren Alltag festigen.



Ihr Nutzen:  

Sie erkennen Ihre Entwicklungspotenziale und Veränderungskompetenzen und gestalten Ihre Kommunikation klarer, in Harmonie mit sichselbst und menschlich verbindend.




•Klärung Ihres Anliegens im beruflichen Kontext
•Einführung und Umgang mit dem “Coach” Pferd
•Systemisches Coaching: individuelle Übungen mit den Pferden zur Klärung von persönlichen Mustern
•Videogestützte Analyse Ihrer Kommunikations- und Verhaltensmuster
•Auswertung der Übungen und Erprobung von alternativen Ansätzen
•Erarbeitung von persönlichen Zielen und des individuellen Umsetzungsvorhabens
•Systemisches Coaching im Nachgang zum Potenzialaufbau /-erhalt: was ist Ihre Rolle, Ihr Platz im Beruf und Leben; evt Vorbeugung von Burnout..



Unsere Leistungen:  

•Ein Vorgespräch vor dem Coaching (ca. 30 min) und im Nachgang ein persoenliches Evaluations und Coachingsgespraech (ca. 60 min) per Skype oder Telefon.
•Begleitung durch erfahrenem systemischen Coach, Mediatorin
•Ruhige Pferde in natuerlicher Umgebung fuer optimale Zusammenarbeit
•Seminarunterlagen inkl. Videoaufnahmen





Was ist systemisches Coaching ?

Unser ganzes Leben macht der Mensch Teil eines Systems; zB einer Familie, einer Organisation und eines Unternehmens.

Die Gesetze jedes Systems sind oft kompliziert und spielen unbewusst eine große Rolle. Dies macht es schwer bestimmte Verhaltensmuster zu korrigieren. Können Sie auch bestimmte Verhaltensmuster bei Ihnen selbst wiederkennen?

Fragen könnten folgende sein:
⁃ wie kann ich besser mit meinen KollegInnen und Team kommunizieren?
⁃ Wieso reagiere ich immer so kritisch?
⁃ warum bin ich immer so erschöpft?
⁃ weshalb kann ich nicht leicht in Kontakt mit anderen treten?
⁃ wieso ist es schwer für mich meine Grenzen zu bewachen? usw ...

Gerade für Organisationen und Teams

Nicht nur persönliche sondern auch organisatorische Probleme haben oft eine systemische Ursache.

Das systemische Coaching mit Hilfe von Pferden erzielt das Erkennen und Lösen verborgener Blockaden in der Organisation und bietet eine Tiefere Einsicht in unterliegender Dynamik und Verwirrungen.

Die Coachingsessions mit dieser Methode haben einen langfristigen und bleibenden Effekt.


Buchen Sie jetzt Ihren Termin:

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Leadership Wochenende März in Rieti ( IT )

am 9.-11. März in Rieti (Italien) - inklusive ein Kamingespräch mit Unternehmensberater Michael Srba, der Firma Flow4Biz aus Wien, mit Thematik "Die Zukunft der Unternehmensführung"; sicherlich ein sehr interessantes als auch unterhaltsames Wochenende.
  • 1. Tag "Authentisches Leadership" Coaching - inkl. Intro-Briefing und Evaluation
  • 2 Übernachtungen für 2 Personen mit reichhaltigem Frühstück in der historischen Villa dell' Annunziata (Umgebung des Hl.Franziskus von Assisi) - inkl 3-Gänge hausgemachtes gourmet Abendbanquet mit regionalen Spezialitäten im historischen Klostersaal.
  • "Kamingespräch"-Diskussion "die Zukunft der Unternehmensführung" beim High-Tea (Zusammenarbeit mit Beratungsunternehmen Flow4Biz Wien)
  • auf eigener Gelegenheit ist am 2. Tag ein Rom-Ausflug möglich, oder Naturspaziergang "Auf Spuren des Hl.Franziskus", sowie Pferdereiten wenn erwünscht.
Innovatives plus Natur, Kultur, kulinarischer Genuss und Geschichte...

hier buchen
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Coaching TERMIN in Rotterdam ( NL )

am 24 oder 25 Februar Tages-Programme in der Nähe von Rotterdam (Niederlande)
"Authentisches Leadership" Tages-Programm:
für Manager

um Ihr Unternehmen zu optimieren und es strukturell und nachhaltig voran zu bringen.

  • morgens: Intro und reflektives Coaching
  • Lunch - typisches holländisches Spezialitäten-Buffet
  • mittags: detailliertes systemisches Coaching - und Nachbesprechung
hier buchen

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LinkedIn Artikel - "Il coaching con cavalli per un leadership naturale..."

Il coaching con cavalli per un leadership naturale e la sinergia di un gruppo"
"Il campo della saggezza dei cavalli" 
(auf Italienisch)
Che cosa può fare il coaching con cavalli per te?
  • Vuoi migliorare la comunicazione non verbale e rapporti con clienti e colleghi?
  • Hai sintomi fisici causati dal stress?
  • Cerci il tuo posto nella vita e più di benessere.
  • Vuoi risolvere un conflitto nell' azienda o nella vita
  • Con questa crisi potresti perdere il posto di lavoro da un momento all’altro, non ti aspettavi che potesse succederti”.
  • Non riesci a ricordare l’ultima volta che sei stato realmente felice e vitale”

Sono questi pensieri che ti assillano?

Lo capisco benissimo; nella mia vita ho anche affrontato questi tipi di problemi e così come quando si sente la tensione sotto la superficie , ma è impossibile mettere il dito su di esso.

I cavalli sono sensibili all' energia della persona e le sue relazioni e ti fanno vedere il tuo modo di leadership e di comunicazione e possono anche offrirti la possibilità di migliorarlo

La comunicazione non verbale e la tua energia sono essenziali per un buon ambiente e un buon rapporto con i colleghi e i clienti, e in questo modo, i risultati dell'azienda!


Perché un coaching con cavalli? 

I cavalli hanno sempre vissuto in gruppi e ogni cavallo ha una funzione e un'importanza per la sopravvivenza del gruppo. I cavalli aiuteranno sempre ogni cavallo ad essere nel suo potere. Quando una persona entra nel gruppo, i cavalli faranno lo stesso e riflettono l'energia della persona e delle sue relazioni; mostreranno la persona cosa fare per essere autentici e in equilibrio.

Se venite con una squadra, i cavalli possono mostrare i blocchi, la ragione di una mancanza di comunicazione e le potenzialità.

In questo ambiente naturale e grazie alla natura non giudicante dei cavalli, le persone cominciano ad avere una migliore comprensione tra di loro

Vorrei che tutti i dirigenti o professionisti potessero beneficiare di questo tipo di coaching dove le azioni sono prese a livello del senso sentito e dell'energia cardiaca.

Un metodo molto più potente di un coaching con esercizi di mente e giochi, che comincia lì dov'è altri tipi di coaching se fermano !

Sessioni di coaching sistemico con cavalli:

Il 8/9 dicembre o una data di tua scelta:

Coaching sistemico con cavalli a Rieti, Lazio

Maneggio Cascina Boalecchia

Possibilità di Pernottamento nella splendida dimora:


Villa dell' Annunziata Rieti

Sul camino di San Francesco

Info@villadellannunziata.com


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LinkedIn Artikel - Genuine leadership: What can systemic coaching with horses do for you?

More than ever the professional, political and private world has a need for soft skills and emphatic leadership: Very different coaching programmes are being offered and HR departments implementing team or personal trainings do not know anymore what is the most efficient kind of coaching, which really improves communication and flowing good relations both with colleagues and clients, as such.

In my professional career, I came to know different kinds of coachings and conflict resolution/prevention support services. Many of these programmes work on the level of the mind and offer rather nice entertaining games, role plays and game time. Several events included fun-days: doing sport together, but in a way stayed superficial as where real empathy or positive communication skills should be developed.

In the field of mediation, one would notice different parties or team members starting again a dialogue, but there was always the danger that they would remain entangled in differences of interpretation of certain ideas: the idea of ‘Respect’ or ‘Cooperation’ can be interpreted in different ways by different personalities. The parties may like to reconcile, try to do this merely on a rational level, discuss the different points of view, but the heart or intuitive system is not included in this process. Somehow these people will always clash again because the core of the conflict has been looked at in only a rational way but not felt in an intuitive way…

On top of that, many conflicts of persons in teams are a result of a conflict with themselves: patterns from the past, education, family, friends can have an effect on us for a long time, mostly fully unconsciously.

This background is called a system of a person and determines in an important way his/her thought pattern, his (mis-)conceptions, his/her ideas and convictions. Every person makes part of a systemic background and has a place in this system, but also needs to take this place where he can come to full potential and be the most authentic possible, benefiting from his inner power.

Here, systemic coaching with the aid of horses can be of great help; a kind of coaching which continues exactly there, where other kinds of coaching seem to stop. Horses, namely, can only work in a systemic way; they have lived in herds (=’teams’) for the survival of every single horse: each horse has a specific role to serve the whole group. The weakest animal will be compensated by others. Many researches showed the subtle language of horses in such teams, which is focused on helping and supporting each horse to stand in his power.

As soon as a person enters a group of horses, horses will immediately assess if (s)he is in the right place and if his exterior is consistent to his interior in order to reach full potential and be of benefit to the whole group and a greater good. If this is not the case, they will try to encourage (improve) his/her situation by movements or actions.

The horse (non-verbal) language can be extremely clear and direct but yet totally non judgmental: people are often amazed during a session how easily horses can take over the role of one’s parents or show the behaviour or blockages of a coachee or business team. By realizing and really FEELING how someone's system has influenced his/her own life and patterns, one can - through his "felt sense" - make peace with certain detrimental influences of this system, i.e. misconceptions caused by this systemic background, and turn them into positive elements during the session, guided by the intuitive sensitivity of the horses and a dialogue if necessary, with the coach.

(I say: "if necessary", because the power of this coaching lies in the feeling and the conviction which comes from inside the person; it is not forced upon one from the outside; therefore a minimum of words and not too much talking, which would take the coachee away from this felt sense, is the most powerful aspect).

Systemic coaching, so far, has been successfully applied from family settings, the field of Human Resources, to individual managers, looking for a more efficient, empathic leadership, development of new talents, better non-verbal communication and the like. Within teams, trying to reach better relationships and interactions, thus resulting in improving the company's output! It has been equally proven a big success for individuals looking for better relationships, in a variety of different life questions, and resolving e.g. a lack of confidence in life.

Horses have thus started a new episode in their evolution: not only helping humans to reach a far destination, win a battle or be it a trophy at a dressage-competition; but also help them further in their personal development to truly reach unexpected fulfillment and new levels of consciousness!…

Next systemic coaching days with horses will be taking place in the hills of Rome / Rieti

Overnights can be booked in an authentic Italian country house B&B from 9-16 September


Original des Artikels finden Sie hier
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LinkedIn Artikel - Where is your place in the herd? And in life?

Sometimes, reason, theories and too many words do not solve a conflict between people or the confusion within yourself!

Horses Help You

Where is your place in the herd and in life?

A lady, after much unhappiness in her life, some failures in her management position, asked herself this question during one of my coaching sessions.

The horse stayed at a certain distance from her, indicating the distance she experienced from her own real self, due to several systemic relations in the past.

With an exercise she made a step towards a more successful professional and private life; closing her eyes and being convinced of her self worth, FEELING an unconditional love in her whole body, the horse walked in a straight line towards her, making contact and opening her eyes for a new stronger attitude, aligning reason with the heart and intuition, better professional relations and attracting more success in her life.

Equitherapy, coaching with horses, continues there, where other types of coaching stop...

A coaching session with horses will tell you the truth without judgment and indicate which factors or influences of a systemic background block you and what to do to step into your inner strength, without words..

Horses are equally wonderful coaches for TEAM BUILDING and MEDIATION, due to their extremely developed senses to survive in a herd; they detect immediately the blocked energy in the group and thrive to compensate the weakest link.

I am passionate about helping people with their life questions, conflicts and consider horses the best masters to help us in all aspects; aligning our brain/ reason with our heart and intuition.

Contact me for a test session at our facilities in France, Holland, Austria or another venue if desired: info@eponacoaching.com


Original des Artikels finden Sie hier
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LinkedIn Artikel - Authentic Leadership and better non verbal communication with the aid of Horses

Positive leadership: inner strength and emotional intelligence

  • A better contact, communication with your colleagues: team
  • Authenticity
  • Conflict resolution
  • Resolving burnout issues.

Tom worked as a project manager for a High Tech Company, dealing with demanding clients and stressful deadlines. He had an assertive energetic personality, but often noticed that his message did not come across during meetings. His team members listened to his instructions, but did not seem to be motivated in their work. Result being that Tom tried a harder line and the atmosphere around him became tense. Tom got the first signs of a burnout and his team members went more and more their own way; fulfilling instructions but without a sign of real positive cooperation, which showed clearly in the business results. A coaching session with horses taught him how to interact with his team members, without limiting convictions or conditioning from past experiences; He learned a new sort of leadership from the mind AND Intuition, based on connection with others. The positive energy coming from himself and his team boosted the business.

For centuries the horse has lived in herds, where every horse has its function and never lost this herd instinct; A horse lives and behaves in a systemic way and detects immediately the order and dynamics of the individuals of a group.

Horses detect the situation, the strengths and blockages of a person or team, the dynamics in a pure way without judgement, in service of the whole system


  • In my personal and group coaching sessions and conflict solving, I use my horses as guidance, as metaphors; Horses are mirrors of our personality and moods. One cannot lie or fake in the communication with horses. There a person discovers his non verbal communication skills; his strength and weaknesses, misconceptions or ideas which block him in his life and/or relations.

This aspect I considered a very important one in the world of mediation: Persons can get lost in a fight of words and points of view. Motives can be retrieved but remain still products of our past experiences and family context. Thus the parties become often victims of a theoretical ball game.

Conflict or personality coaching with horses is a healing process without words: there is no wrong or right or a fight between different theories. The situation just IS. The situation is being identified and worked through in a deeper way; It is remarkable how far the horse takes us to the essence of the question or issue, if necessary translated by the equicoach.

  • We would purely interact and reflect in an individual or systemic way with horses: there would be no riding involved and even people with fear for horses can feel safe.
  • Workshops would be organized either in The Netherlands, France or Austria, where I work my horses or in other places, depending on the wishes of the client.

Sessions can be held in English, German, French, Dutch, Italian, Spanish, Hebrew/Arabic

I am an international conflict and personal development coach and mediator and acquired skills in equicoaching/ equitherapy. I am able, together with the horses, help you to connect better to yourself and others: which means a better relation with yourself having a direct effect on your environment.

During my international experience in companies and organizations, I acquired an extensive feeling for human relations, conflicts and different cultural environmental context and a profound knowledge of applied psychology, the most effective ways to obtain balance, harmony and happiness as well as the positive influence and healing powers of nature and especially horses.


Original des Artikels finden Sie hier
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LinkedIn Artikel - A stronger connection with yourself...and others

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.

Many of us live in a matrix: go to school, study, find a good job, pay for a mortgage, consumer goods; follow the rules of society until a certain crisis puts everything into question: An illness, redundancy, conflicts at work or in the private sphere, burnout, a divorce, loss of a friend or faith in what one is doing on a daily basis. Suddenly we wonder where our happiness has gone: we had followed all the rules, did our best, probably have some capital, but we do not feel happy nor fulfilled. We realize that we lost the connection with our deeper selves.

Through my international work and the contact with people in diverse cultures, I experienced that business challenges are not only due to cultural or linguistic differences, but we can equally be confronted with universal personal problems as well; the common ground of humanity.

Mediation can be a temporal solution with good outcomes, but certain conflicts have to be solved on a deeper level. Beside the reason of problematic business policy and hierarchy, there may be a deeper rooted cause; during conflict mediation, the same kind of problems may rise over and again as a certain reaction pattern seems to exist in everyone of us in our interaction with others!

Every person is a product of misconceptions, convictions which are not ours, passed on by our parents, teachers, colleagues, friends or institutions, establishment and stop our true self to be developed or being at its best in professional or private life. Instead of ignoring or hiding our shadow sides, we could analyze and embrace them and thus give way to more possibilities in our life.

A conflict consists of three important elements:

Language: We all know that a foreign language creates barriers: Not knowing or truely understanding the language in all its aspects, reinforces misunderstandings and prejudice. Even in our mother tongue misunderstandings can occur when expressions do not have a common vibration which produce connection!

Culture: Even if there is no barrier of a foreign language and people have found a common lingua franca between themselves, such as English, cultural differences may persist and still transmit the idea that we are not understood. Each culture or nation has its own context and reference frame.

Psychology; life within the person

Beside cultural differences, people of all the different backgrounds have so much in common;The same struggles to obtain happiness, personal fulfillment and good relations with others; A universal need for balance between respect and love for oneself and for others. If a person does not feel valued, haunted by experiences of the past, he is less able to give or commit himself. As soon as this balance is out of control we can face all kind of conflicts.

Before really connecting to others, have a meaningful positive relation with people, a happy partnership, a person first needs a good relation with oneself and connect to his universal wisdom source. This means , getting rid of misconceptions, limiting convictions about oneself, life and the world, passed on by our parents, school, friends. Ideas you may still suffer from at present. Only then ,when all these elements are being considered, the coaching or consultancy can be complete and consistent.

I offer you beside cultural and personal mediation an interesting personal coaching package, offering you tools to get rid of old patterns which do not serve your real self, which block your personal relations and social life.

In this training you learn how to become emotionally and mentally stronger and establish a better relation with yourself, which has an immediate impact on your environment. Do you also look for a more holistic way to develop yourself, get rid of constant tiredness, periods of depression or burnout? Do you like to improve your professional and private relations ? Find your inner power, beauty and authentic personnality.

Do not hesitate to contact me during my contact hours by phone; Monday or Thursday; 9-12 am or mail me on: asasitch3@gmail.com

I can coach you individually in English, German, French, Dutch, Italian, Hebrew. Over skype, in person , or at different workshops organized by me at different dates.


Original des Artikels
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LinkedIn Artikel - Malpractice within Mediation

Misunderstandings which ruin the reputation of professional mediators

Lawyers often offer their services as mediators, who unfortunately give ‘inadequate’ mediation or conflict-solving and give the concept of mediation a bad name thus creating many misconceptions among its clients:

Juridical procedures result too often in a polarizing parties in the name of the law, used and abused by lawyers due to the formalistic nature of legislation,

putting often more oil on the fire by focusing on the differences and putting these differences under a magnifier in order to blame the other; unfortunately, they are not bringing conflicting parties together but rather pushing them further apart, even to extremes.

After the legal procedure, there may perhaps be a winner, but frustrated feelings remain, to say the least; the real core or motive of the conflict issue has never been addressed: the feelings or thoughts of both parties even less.

Both parties spend an enormous amount of money, energy, and time in order to obtain a certain right or amount of monetary compensations through lengthy and thus costly court sessions. The only biggest winner is the lawyer, cutting human relations or communication coldly with an iron sword and earning his/her fee for every extra legal action. Legal procedures may be the only resort in certain cases where it concerns a real criminal act.
  But in the case of e.g. family or business conflicts, mediation should be first attempted to reach a more effective solution.

Mediation or conflict resolution tries to bring the parties together.
It is not a legal process but rather a communicative process;

  It requires special techniques, "Fingerspitzengefuehl" and skills to let communication flow again and create good will. It requires asking the right questions; going from points of view back to motives. The art is to create an atmosphere where people do not mind going deeper into the issues and listen to eachother, finding understanding and enabling a solution or even new kind of revived cooperation.

My experience is that in such an atmosphere people can become astoundingly creative; finding a new way of working together.

There is a trend that many lawyers sell themselves as mediators as well; sitting next to the parties without going deeper into the ideas and interpretations of people: caught in their trained legal thinking-frame.

Most of these lawyers (with some exceptions) have not concluded a proper mediation training or ignore the human side of a conflict. Not understanding that just letting people talk is not enough; missing the right moments to address the feelings of parties, making an open conversation possible where vulnerability is never threatening. Quite the opposite of what a juridical procedure entails!

Unfortunately, this kind of mediators give the profession a bad name: parties are left behind desillusioned often even frustrated because the "lawyer-mediator" tries to impose agreements without parties having the chance to fully express themselves. Sometimes, such a mediator would even choose sides, in case of an employment conflict, subdued to the authority of the powerful employer (i.e. paying client).

There are certainly good mediators among some lawyers, but be careful choosing one with empathy and a more psychological approach; who knows the right techniques and strives towards a certain balance, harmony instead of polarization and animosity between the individuals. Somebody who takes both parties equally serious.

 This way, true and silled mediation/conflict resolution is the better future.

A future which would develop an empathic society, putting importance on the dignity, authority and responsability of each person.


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LinkedIn Artikel - How to handle conflicts and the relation with yourself

Conflicts often come up at crucial moments; when there are certain expectations and or disappointments. Emotions then play increasingly a bigger role, points of view polarize and the dialogue often escalates.

How do you then convey your message to the other party during the conflict?

What would be the best way to bring across your point of view? It is all about the right usage of words, tone, attitude.
Certain words and tone may cause escalation of the conflict.
There may be a big difference between the way you want to come across and the way the other party perceives you. However, when emotions take over, people forget staying reasonable and have problems taking into account the feelings and, at the same time, the point of view of the other party.

The following conflict patterns are very typical and will make a conflict harder to solve. These patterns tend to come up in all conflicts and everybody may recognise themselves in them:

1) A criticising, disrespectul or contemptuous attitude

"You are always late!"
"Your work is full of mistakes, as usual you are always sloppy"
"Nobody wants a colleague like you"

This pattern includes negative feedback on actions but can also attack the other party personally.

By continuous negative feedback, a conflict will escalate further. The other party will feel unappreciated or even denigrated. His/her attitude will become defensive and, generally, (s)he will start to aggressively retaliate the other as well.
This pattern will not lead to a solution, it will create no goodwill and parties stop really listening to one another or lose effort to understand the underlying motives.

When expressing a discontentment, anger is involved. If criticizing or correcting somebody‘s actions is necessary, think of the following: "C‘est le ton qui fait la musique" and expressing yourself in the following ways may lead to better communication. Use the "I”-form (I feel / I hope / I understand / I …) instead of the "you" form:

  • "I feel that my effort is not being valued" (You don’t value my effort)
  • "I understand that you find your work unpleasant" (You find your work unpleasant)
  • “I am disappointed about your lack of motivation” (Unfortunately, you lack motivation)

Try to repeat what the other person is responding or saying: "do I understand that you are angry at the fact that I was not there last week?"

Avoid attacking the party on his personnality and rather try to put a positive point / perception / appreciation in your dialogue

Never use the words ´always” / “never” / “ever”

2) Non-verbal negative communication

Shaking your head, rolling eyes, looking into another direction. Also, not reacting; ignoring what the other party says.

3) The cold treatment

React as if all is OK, swallow your words but starting a cold war towards the other until one day the relation will explode or die a silent bitter death.

4) Aggressor / victim

People, who only start defending themselves, dive into a victim role and do not want to look at their own behaviour; they have a tendency making others responsible for unfortunate events;

"I have not been able to meet the deadline because I had to wait for my colleagues and they always start too late with their assignments because they do not take my suggestions seriously"

Better would be: Admitting one has not been able to meet the deadline and mention that one will try to solve the problems which occurred as soon as possible. Pointing an accusing finger usually leads to more conflicts and poisons the atmosphere between team-members

Communicating is something everybody can learn

Positive respectful communication us the basis of healthy relations in your professional and private life! Each person can analyse his own traps in a dialogue or conflict: they become often a habit without thinking about them.

A certified mediator or conflict-coach can help you to develop these techniques or help to solve an escalated conflict between parties as a third neutral.


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LinkedIn Artikel - DigitEcon/Flow4Biz Workshop: “Cultural Aspects of Business and Social Selling”

Target group: Sales, Marketing, Product-Quality Management, Social Selling, Customer Service

We don't just copy theories but create solutions for your success

Content:

A. Social Selling:

Goal: understanding how the challenges in the B2B field can be mastered with the tools of digitalization.

  1. Background
    • drastic change in management - focus: B2B
      (Real Life Situation B2B Solution Sales vs. Procurement) Think globally - succeed locally
    • only strategic and structural application of Social Media can be successful
  2. Description - What is Social Selling? 
  3. Why do I need a Social Selling concept? 
  4. Which tools are available? How do I proceed to implement them?

 

B. Intercultural business and negotiation, Social Code, avoidance and resolution of conflicts.

  1. Prevention of conflicts through knowledge of the different markets and their culture: presentation of the different countries and their social code in Europe, Asia, Israel, USA
  2. Different negotiation techniques: empathy-assertivity / body-language / communication
  3. Communication; in organization/management teams, within teams, with clients, with official institutions…
  4. Exercises; role games communication / conflict resolution

 

Length of training: 6 to 8 hours (tailor made to the needs of your company)

If you wish further details, please do not hesitate to contact us at info@flow4biz.eu or Welcome@DigitEcon.com


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LinkedIn Artikel - Doing Business in Europe: a workshop on intracultural and universal communication

"Humanity ( in "The Circle of Life") has forgotten the Original Language, but all other animals still remember how to speak it....." 15 November 2015 in Tel Aviv at the Federation of Israeli Chambers of Commerce.

Dr Alexandra Sitch will give an Introductory Workshop "Inter-cultural training and universal communication for Israelis, organizations and businesses" in cooperation with Modai Legal Counselling Tel Aviv.

Starting negotiations with a potential international partner? Doing business abroad? Implementing a reorganisation in a local branch?

In this workshop we highlight the pitfalls of the different approaches that could affect your success and how business and projects can collapse because of a minor misunderstanding.

Bringing you awareness and tools to establish better contacts and positive longterm cooperation. Coordinated by Modai Group in cooperation with FICC


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LinkedIn Artikel - Mediation in der Gesellschaft und Politik: eine Notwendigkeit für die Demokratie!

Wir leben in einer Zeit voller Veränderungen und grosser Entwicklungen. Eine Zeit wo Geld und Macht, alte patriarchale Werte immer noch die steuernden Kräfte in der Gesellschaft und Politik. sind.  Wenn man die Entwicklungen in der Welt betrachtet, aber auch in der nationalen und regionalen Politik, hat man das Gefühl dass der einzelne Bürger die Kontrolle über das System verloren hat. Die Menschen sind oft nicht mehr informiert oder fühlen eine Art Frustration bei den Wahlen weil ja sowieso, denkt man, die grossen Organisationen und Koalitionen der Politiker die Entscheidungen treffen: Manche Bürger nehmen nicht mal mehr Teil an den Wahlen!

wir alle nicht vergessen dass der Staat und die Politiker im Dienste des Bürgers stehen sollten? Wo sind die "matriarchalen, empathischen Werte in der Gesellschaft geblieben? Es ist deutlich dass eine grosse Distanz zwischen Gesellschaft und Politiker geschaffen wurde. Was könnte man in dieser Situation ändern? Gerade hier wäre Mediation oder Konfliktvermittlung die Lösung der Zukunft!

Als Politiker ist man immer dabei Recht zu bekommen und seinen Standpunkt durchzuboxen. Dies ist ein hartes unempathisches Verfahren das wir sehr gut in dem Gerichtssaal zurückerkennen. Es führt zu einer Situation wo sich selbst der Sieger des Verfahrens nicht wohl fühlt. Es vernachlässigt viele Elemente: soziologische, kommunikationswissenschaftliche und psychologische Hintergründe!

Ebenso ist es interessant zu sehen wie Politiker und Nationalräte es als ihre Aufgabe betrachten den Bürger von ihrem Standpunkt zu überzeugen; dies ist ja leider das Gegenteil dessen was Demokratie sein soll! In einer Demokratie geht es darum miteinander Lösungen zu entwickeln wo alle Bedürfnisse gedeckt werden.

Bei einem Konflikt ist nämlich gerade die Hauptfrage:  Was bringt mich zu diesem Standpunkt? Welches Bedürfnis steckt dahinter?  Hiernach bemerken viele Menschen je gerade dass es -trotz unterschiedlicher Standpunkte- "Common ground"auf der Bedürfnisebene gibt! Die Aufgabe der Politiker in der Demokratie wäre es diese Bedürfnisse in die Politik zu tragen und konstruktiv darauf Lösungen auszuarbeiten..

Mit Hilfe der Mediation könnte man wieder zum eigentlichen Wesen der Demokratie zurück kommen. Mediation ist einerseits ein Prozess, andererseits aber auch ein Werkzeugkoffer mit verschiedenen Kommunikations und Verhandlungsinstrumente..   In der Vergangenheit  war Bürgerbeteiligung etwas was introduziert und besprochen wurde, aber es wurde später ohnehin gemacht was einige Leute für richtig hielten. Dadurch herrscht jetzt immer mehr Resignation bei den Menschen. und Mangel an Vertrauen.

Mit Mediation könnte man die Situation für den Bürger verbessern. Es würde einen Rahmen sichern wobei alle wichtigen Gesellschaftspunkte und politischen Probleme auf den Tisch gelegt werden.und eine Wertschätzung gewahrt wird.   Natürlich sollte dieses Thema auch schon in der Schule und bei allen Ausbildungen besprochen werden; der Bürger sollte ja mündig und informiert sein!

Es wäre eine ausgezeichnete Sache wenn Versammlungen und Ausschüsse öffentlich wären; keine nicht öffentliche Sitzungen mehr, sondern öffentliche Bürgerausschusssitzungen. Zuerst würden vielleicht nur ein paar Bürger anwesend sein, aber wenn die Menschen fühlen dass es eine ehrliche Möglichkeit ist um die Gemeinde mitzugestalten und dass man auch ernst genommen wird, füllt sich eine Sitzung sehr schnell und kann wieder Vertrauen aufgebaut werden!

Die Hauptfrage wäre immer wieder: "Was ist dem Bürger wichtig?"und der Politiker würde erstmal zuhören und später ermächtigen und den ganzen Prozess weiter begleiten.

Das Bewusstsein der Menschen wächst, die Herausforderungen in der Gesellschaft auch. Die Mediation würde in diesem Prozess  zweifellos neue Wege zu mehr Gerechtigkeit in der Gesellschaft öffnen!


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LinkedIn Artikel - Human capital: Invest, connect and cherish it with Mediation!

The recent crash of the Airbus 320 of GermanWings,in which 149 people died, shocked the whole world in being perceived as ''yet another" aircraft accident. However, even more shockingly perhaps, in this case it has emerged that the likely cause of the accident was the co-pilot acting alone in a case of suicide - murder, it becoming increasingly clear that the co-pilot was or had been suffering from depression and work related stress.

In many companies and organisations, it remains a taboo to talk about psychological disorders, mental illness and burn outs.

People rather do not tell their managers that they feel lacking in confidence or lacking energy;talking about depression gives them the feeling that they are considered less capable of doing their job and fulfilling expectations.

Employees value being part of a strong and dynamic team, and may find it difficult to function optimally when a member of the team is not connecting properly with the others.

Tension and bullying at work are often the order of the day without anybody bringing the issues into broad daylight.

Several reports show that employers are afraid of sickness leave and of people not functioning properly. Sickness leave and lack of communication entail lots of costs for the company

People who are depressed are at least perceived as less able to perform properly and fulfill the tasks expected of them. Whilst not the reason given, in certain companies, some people who are depressed are even made redundant.

This is clearly a waste of human potential, with people across a whole spectrum of abilities and attributes being able to contribute to an organisation.

By acknowledging the problem, by rising above ïdées fixes" and misconceptions, by accepting certain mental illnesses, a topic becomes more accesible and easier to solve.

Mediation can restimulate and further facilitate the flow of communication in order to reach innovative solutions together.

This would make many people feel more comfortable and motivated to do their job.

MEDIATION between team members or between management and employees, as well as conflictsolving/ teambuilding workshops can open doors to both, and to all players involved.

A MEDIATOR is a third neutral person outside the team, but sufficiently connected to reduce obstacles to dialogue and thereby to rejuvenate lines of communication and create a new synergy.

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LINKEDIN Artikel - Mediation; The Third Neutral

Mediation is alternative dispute resolution by a third neutral, experienced and knowledgable party. Mediation has been used for centuries and has proved to be a constructive way of solving conflicts.It avoids legal procedures, high lawyer costs, and a feeling of injustice and frustration. A dispute is analyzed and traced back in all detail, by seperating it from any emotional element.

At the end of a mediation session, people have more understanding for eachother, and are often able to continue an improved relation or better way of communication with eachother and progress further in a positive manner.

The parties work together to find a wise and appropriate solution, acceptable for both parties.

I specialize in mediation for companies and individuals, involving different cultures and/ or languages. In each culture we have to deal with different reference frames and social codes of conduct, making communication more challenging.

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